We Are Not Alone in Our Loss

'We are not alone in our loss,' a lesson loss taught me. Read the Grief Story 'I Will See the Sun Again' by Hadassah Treu about how God sent people her way to help her to not be alone in her grief....

Jun 13, 2024

Welcome to the Grief Stories community! I hope you’ll find this to be a welcoming place where you’ll be able to share experiences, get things off your chest, support one another, ask questions, and chat to people who truly ‘get it’. I invite you to read and share stories of hope and healing; giving a voice to loss and grief. This is a safe place helping us to feel less alone on our journey and providing comfort in hard times.

The fact is that loss and grief are topics not often discussed in society, despite loss being an unavoidable part of our lives and grief a natural part of the healing process.

Whilst grief is very personal and unique, loss is something universal. We all experience loss at some point in our life. There are many different losses. Some hurt more than others, and some can even be recovered from. But they are all valid. And we can experience grief after any loss. Sometimes we may not even be aware that what we're going through is actually grief.

Whatever our loss, it helps when our grief is witnessed. That's why I created 'Grief Stories' because even if words may not erase the pain a loss causes, they can provide comfort. May these stories, written by those experiencing loss, provide a plaster on your own wounds.

All losses are valid, and we can experience grief after any loss.

We are not alone in our loss, even if sometimes it may feel so. It can be hard to find someone who understands our loss. We might find that the people we thought would be there for us keep their distance and instead strangers become the ones who offer empathy. And sometimes we need to be alone with our loss, so we can reflect and figure out how to move forward. Such time can actually help us, as long as we don’t shut everyone out and withdraw from society. The danger of withdrawing is that we become detached from reality and fall into depression.

What helped me was knowing that I have a circle of people around me who are supportive. The right people show us that they are here for us when needed and that there is help available if we need it. The lesson that loss taught me was that sometimes no words are needed. A nice meal, flowers, or a message is enough to let others know they are not alone in their loss.

Today in the Grief Stories I am sharing a story by Hadassah Treu about how God sent people her way to help her express her grief and not be alone in her loss after her husband Thomas passed away. Because grief doesn’t need fixing but witnessing.

Grief doesn’t need fixing but witnessing.

I am so grateful to Hadassah for comforting us with her story. Hadassah Treu is an international author, blogger, poet, and speaker passionate about encouraging people to draw closer to God in the midst of hardship. If you want to learn more about the hidden blessings in grief and other painful experiences, check out Hadassah Treu's new book ‘Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings.’

‘I Will See the Sun Again’ by Hadassah Treu

Grief Stories #002

In the first days and weeks after the tragic, unmanageable loss of my closest person, I kept telling God I didn't want to live in a world without my husband, in a world where he was simply no more. In the moments when I kept quiet, I could hear God saying, "He has not disappeared. He is well, he is with me. He is healed, whole, and happy. One day, you will see him and reunite with him."

One day… But how was I supposed to bridge the time till then? I still had a life to live, maybe years and decades ahead, until I could see my beloved again in Heaven.

"Take it step by step, my child," I heard the Lord saying. "One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. You will be okay. I will provide for you."

This was the first helpful tip I received. But God provided not only tips, He sent me people, the right people, when I needed them most. In the first terrible week when I needed to organize the funeral and all the different things coming to me like an avalanche, my brother-in-law took care of all practical and financial issues. We could grieve together; we could give each other the comfort of the human embrace and touch.

Later, my sister came and brought me her reassuring presence and the freedom to grieve without restraint. She was my sounding board: she heard all my questions, all my doubts, all my accusations, my anger and frustrations. She wept with me and gave me the balm of her empathy.

The right people offering help kept appearing in the next months. A friend helped me to organize the funeral, another friend agreed to read the eulogy, and another one helped me further with the finances and practical issues I was unfamiliar with. My family helped me to organize my relocation to my homeland and begin a new life there.

I didn't want this new life; I didn't sign up for this and I struggled to accept it. The grief journey was so unpredictable and heavy. Even so, it was a journey that was heading in the only right direction – forward. I was moving and learning along the way.

I felt compelled not only to surround myself with safe and reliable people but also to distance myself from toxic people and negative influences.

The biggest challenge has been to learn how to express my grief in healthy ways. Overeating, TV-watching, or working could not distract me, nor could take the pain away. I found out that talking to a friend about my loved one, or writing down how I feel in my journal, were more helpful outlets. I began reading books about grief. It is comforting to know that I am not the only one and that the world is full of a lot of grieving hearts.

The world is full of a lot of grieving hearts.

There were many times when I felt extremely lonely, but I was never alone. Not only God, the ultimate grief expert, was always by my side, but He always sent somebody on my way when I struggled with loneliness and cried for help.

One day, when the black cloud of grief felt unbearable, I went out in my urge to run from it, if possible. I was strolling down the streets, envying each couple that I saw. That simply added to my misery when I met a person whom I hadn't seen for years. She was so happy to see me and she stopped right there in the middle of the street and talked with me for an hour, offering me a listening ear and her compassion.

After talking with her, I could recall many other times when God had sent people on my way, sometimes online or on the phone, to help me express my grief and ease my loneliness.

I am learning to trust again that I am infinitely loved and never abandoned to do the grief journey alone. Somehow, hope has joined my grief. This is the hope that life can be beautiful again, that I will feel joy again, and my heart will experience a deeper healing and restoration. Yes, my grief has changed, and I've been changing, too.

I will never be the same person again. New branches and fresh growth will spring forth from the soil of my deep wound and they will be beautiful.

I trust again that God's plans are always good and His purposes are higher. I choose to trust His wisdom, His sovereignty, and, most of all, His heart of infinite goodness and love.

The black cloud will go away. I will see the sun again.

Grief Story by Hadassah Treu

Friend, where are you on life’s journey? Are you feeling alone in your grief? What is helping you to process and deal with it? Share in the comments.

Grief Stories by Katy Parker from Journeyofsmiley

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